Stress is an important part of every person’s life. It helps mobilize physical and mental resources to overcome the challenges that arise on our life path. We have stress every day and it does not harm us as long as its strength and duration do not exceed the individual limits of stress tolerance. In today’s conditions, it is important to have effective and safe skills to withstand stress.
Today you will receive the necessary knowledge on how to take care of your mental health and strengthen psychological resilience. The information field that currently surrounds us is too saturated with various kinds of information. Sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, uncertainty and unpredictability of events, etc. The reaction to stressful circumstances for each of us will depend on the experience we have had. Someone successfully copes on their own, someone needs support.
“If you cannot influence the situation, then change your attitude towards it…”. But how to do it and what does it mean? We will talk about resilience. It is known that some people are born with a natural system of “navigation” through adversity – they are able to remain calm and clear in their thinking longer when faced with stress. However, it can also be developed and be more resistant to difficulties.
Relatively recently, the concept of “resilience” (synonyms – psychological resilience, stress resistance, etc.) appeared in psychology, which characterizes the “elasticity” of our psyche, which allows us to easily recover after interaction with stressors. Resilience is a characteristic of the human psyche that determines the ability to resist stress and show mental stability, allows us to prevent mental and emotional burnout, anxiety and depressive states and recover from difficulties and stress.
To use a metaphor, “Resilience is like an umbrella that keeps us more or less dry from the rain, while we continue to walk down the street.”
The level of resilience development in each of us is different, it depends on many factors (specificities of the nervous system, developmental characteristics in childhood, upbringing, etc.). However, it can be trained, because, according to experts, people can learn and develop skills that will help them cope better with difficulties.
Regardless of whether you are going through a difficult period in life or want to be more prepared for new challenges, let’s consider several ways that can help “build” resilience and contribute to your stability.
1. Look at challenges from a different perspective
Instead of looking at adversity as something ugly and insurmountable, try to find small ways to solve the situation in a healthy way or make changes that can help you cope or at least support you.
For analysis, you may find the following questions useful: what would my loved one say about this situation? what would I advise my friend? do my thoughts about this situation help to resolve it? in moments when I would not experience these emotions, how would I look at this situation then? what skills, knowledge or abilities do I still lack to better understand this situation? what are the strengths or positive aspects of myself or the situation that I have not yet paid attention to?
After overcoming adversity, most people reevaluate their views, dare to make positive changes and begin to appreciate simple, joyful moments and life in general.
2. Focus on what you can control or change.
Focus on what you can control, change, or what depends on you
Of course, sometimes it seems that difficulties simply knock us off our feet, like a powerful stream of water. Sometimes it seems that it is difficult or there is nothing to grab onto to stay afloat. The same “lifeline” can serve as a return to a sense of control.
To do this, find and focus exclusively on those elements of the situation that you can influence, that you are able to control. This can return a sense of security or better stability.
3. Use the rule of “small steps”.
Start any business or solution to a problem situation with small steps (even step by step, at your own pace, but without avoiding or accumulating them). Make small decisions and take possible measures that will at least slightly help you cope with difficulties or improve the quality of your life. Everyone has their own strengths or the ability to develop them. They are a better tool for us than hoping or expecting that one day everything will improve or work out on its own.
The following questions can be useful for yourself: “What can I do right now to somehow solve this situation (help myself or others)?”, “Where can I start?”, “How can I present myself right now?” Or other questions that will set you up to start doing something towards solving the situation. Follow the rule: “If you can’t do something right now to solve the problem, lie down and lie in that direction!”
4. Be focused and “engaged” in life.
Train your ability to focus your attention directly on what you are doing at this particular moment, without being distracted by extraneous thoughts and actions. The ability to be “engaged” in an activity means giving this activity all your attention.
Recognize the situation as it is in reality, describe it, try to realize your attitude and feelings towards this situation: “Right now I am very worried because I have not received feedback from my relatives. I am waiting for their answer. I am anxious and scared.”
Having realized our own assessment of the situation, we can manage our reaction to it.
5. Solve problems, not avoid them.
Developing problem-solving skills is a healthy personality skill that can help prevent burnout and, as a result, depression. The more you try to isolate yourself from problems, the more difficult it will be to overcome them when you finally have to face them.
“Instead of keeping problems behind closed doors, you need to let them out, line them up, and gradually solve them,” psychologists advise.
The following questions will help you with this: “What would my loved one say about this situation?”, “What would I advise my friend in a similar situation?”, “Does what I do/think about this situation help me solve it?” “If I didn’t experience these emotions, how would I look at this situation?”, “What skills, knowledge, or abilities do I still lack to better understand this situation?”, etc.
Often, after overcoming adversity, people reevaluate their views, build stronger relationships, dare to make positive changes, and begin to appreciate the simple, joyful moments of life.
6. Cultivate good and meaningful relationships with others and seek social support.
Maintain good and close relationships within and outside your family. Make sure to strengthen your “support system” – people with whom you can feel trust, mutual understanding, respect and support, share values or hobbies.
Develop your communication skills, including assertiveness (this is the ability to stand up for yourself in a polite and friendly way, express your feelings and thoughts, without offending or violating the dignity of other people). The development of this skill is facilitated by the ability to openly talk about emotions with loved ones and the ability to turn to others for support.
Share your experiences with your family or friends with whom you have a good and trusting relationship. Ask them what helps them cope in similar situations. This will help you gain understanding or new ideas that can be helpful in coping with problems.
If you do not have such people around you or you feel exhausted, this may be an opportunity to turn to a psychologist/psychotherapist. After all, this can also become your safe and resourceful space.
7. Plan your life for the future.
The ability to make plans for the future (short or long term), the ability to make realistic plans and implement them is also a characteristic of a healthy personality.
Some of the goals we set for ourselves may now be unattainable, or have simply lost their relevance. Plan something pleasant within the framework of today’s reality. Think about your favorite thing that will make you happy in the near future – for example, coffee with friends, a delicious lunch, a bubble bath, reading an interesting book or napping under your favorite blanket.
8. Take care of your physical health and good sleep.
Regular physical activity helps reduce stress hormone levels and stimulates the production of endorphins. Healthy behavior is based on taking care of yourself and meeting your needs for movement, regular and sufficient sleep (rest) and healthy nutrition, personal hygiene skills.
Cognitive psychologists note: “…going a day without movement is like getting an injection of a depressant, and sleep deprivation is similar to voluntary euthanasia. … We sacrifice sleep and spend our days at the computer, and as a result, a raindrop or a sideways glance causes us stress.”
9. Practice mindfulness and other stress-reduction techniques.
Mindfulness and relaxation skills (e.g., reading, listening to music, meditation, autogenic training) can help you cope with difficult emotions, effectively resolve conflicts, and rebuild relationships. This is achieved by focusing on your body sensations, breathing, and thoughts without getting caught up in them.
Create a “resource kit”: remember and write down what helps you through difficult times in your life and what brings you joy. You’ll have a list of
things/actions that will always improve your emotional state. It’s good if there are things you can do right away, like turning on your favorite music, as well as more complex ones.
