As it turned out, deliberate self-harm, which has been called self-harm, is quite common. Especially among teenagers. It is a physical form of auto-aggressive behavior in which a person harms themselves, without the goal of committing suicide.
Self-harm is described as behavior in which the person who harms themselves is thus looking for a way to cope with disturbing thoughts and feelings.
Self-harm usually begins as a way to relieve the growing pressure of difficult thoughts and can provide temporary relief from the emotional pain that a person is experiencing.
But the fact is that such relief is temporary, because it does not solve the problem that caused them.
Then comes the feeling of guilt and shame, and the cycle repeats itself.
When teenagers feel sad, anxious or confused, the emotions can be so strong that they lead to acts of self-harm. Most children who injure themselves do so because they feel stressed, anxious, or emotionally distressed. Children explain this by saying that in this way they block out the emotional pain and it becomes easier for them.
Self-harm in any case is a cry for help. Children or adults do not dare to say it directly, so they resort to such methods of attracting attention.
The next question is what does a teenager get from receiving physical pain in this way:
- relief of emotional tension;
- the possibility of relieving anger, aggression when it is impossible to release these emotions in a healthy way;
- “return to reality”, when a teenager in this way tries to get out of a state of apathy, switch, etc.
- demonstration of his suffering, a signal for help.
How to help a child who is self-harming
If you notice that a child is self-harming, the first action should not be anger or a desire to scold, but a conversation with the child in a calm and trusting atmosphere. Express sincere concern, ask what happened.
If the child does not want to talk, calmly continue the conversation, asking clarifying questions such as: “What do you feel?”, “When did this happen?”, “Maybe we should try to talk about it?”, “I’m worried about you.”
The following questions are unacceptable: “What did you do?”, “Isn’t there anything to do?”, “Are you completely stupid?”, etc.
It is important for adolescents and children to feel that they are needed and that they are worried about them. If the child does not make contact at all and continues to harm himself, you should contact a psychologist, psychiatrist or psychotherapist. The specialist depends on the degree of traumatization of the child.
Do not be afraid to involve a specialist. This is not shameful and does not mean that you are bad parents and have not coped with upbringing. Perhaps the child feels guilty for something or has encountered troubles at school – and did not want to talk about it.
A child’s refusal to seek help can mean an even more complicated case. And just waiting will not restore mental health and solve problems. In this case, parents should take the situation into their own hands, explain to the child the importance of therapy and start it.
Self-harm prevention is trust and sincere contact with the child. Parents should tell the child that they love him, worry and take care of him, and be interested in his life. Teach the child to take care of his physical and mental health. Give him the opportunity to engage in a hobby that interests him – this will help release emotions and reduce tension.
