Learning is a stage of children’s formation, and school grades are part of the process. Grades do not characterize your child. Grades do not establish values for the child as a person. It is worth noting that a child’s attitude towards grades largely depends on our attitude towards them. If, when talking about school, we first of all ask about grades and react violently to both good and bad ones, grades will become the main part of school life for the child. And the main ones should be the acquisition of knowledge, the formation of skills and abilities, and communication with peers is especially important!
Remember that by punishing a child for grades, you will not increase their academic performance, but you can morally harm them, embitter them, make them deceitful, cowardly, and sometimes stubborn and rude.
According to statistics, for only 20% of children, grades are a motivator for their learning, for others the ability to apply knowledge and skills in practice, in life, is important. The assessment gives the illusion of control over the child’s future. “Now I will pull the child to the desired value of parameters 10, 11, 12, and this will guarantee his happiness in the future.” But the assessment is not a marker of future happiness, it is not a marker of abilities.
What is a real assessment? The assessment is how much the child has learned the material at school, it is only an assessment for understanding and memorizing certain content and that’s it. You don’t need to give him additional criteria.
Recommendations from the psychological center:
1) Do not scold your child for a bad assessment. He really wants to be good in your eyes. If he can’t be like that, the child starts to lie and evade.
2) Sympathize with your child if he has worked for a long time, but the result of his work is not high. Explain to him that not only a high result is important. More important are the knowledge and skills to learn, which he will be able to gain as a result of daily hard work.
3) The grade is not always an indicator of how far a child has advanced in his development. Support the child in his, albeit not very significant, victories over himself, over his laziness.
4) Never express doubts about the objectivity of the grade given to your child out loud.
5) If you have doubts – go to school and try to objectively understand the situation.
6) The grade is not an indicator of how responsible the child is. The child may be extremely responsible in another area where he has a direct interest.
7) The grade is not a guarantee of future success. Social intelligence or emotional intelligence are not assessed at school, but they can help a person make a career.
8) The grade is not an indicator of abilities. It may be that there are abilities, but there is no desire. Or the child’s abilities do not fit into the framework of school subjects.
9) Do not threaten your child or promise anything for school grades. Positive reinforcement does not mean that you should give your child something as a reward when he or she gets the expected results. Instead, you should express encouragement and congratulations. Also, do not threaten your child or promise something that you do not plan to fulfill.
10) Be an example for your child. Demonstrate the positive results of your work so that your child wants to imitate you.
With respect to you and with love and care for our children,
Psychological Center of the European College.
